For the full Hollywood Tarot experience, pretend the cards below are lying in front of you sort of like this,

and that some Princess of Pentacles person is there with you, interpreting the meanings (which she really is, at some archetypal level).

For a more complete explanation of the cards (like, what the heck does this actor have to do with this card anyway?), see Who's On What Card.

NOTE: Major Arcana cards (the first 22 cards of the deck) do not belong to suits like Swords or Wands; they are simply called "Card 0", "Card 1", etc. They're the cards with the blue moon-and-stars frames. Don't be confused if you get, say, "Card 3" on the layout space called "Card 1". This just means that the third card of the deck is in the first card position.

Enjoy the Movie!



Cards 1 and 2 are the starting point. Think of them as the corner of Hollywood and Vine. CARD 1, Hollywood Boulevard, is the summarized plot of your question, the cards' edited version of the question you are asking.

Card #1: The Magician--Robin Williams


Robin Williams and Patch Adams, 1997
The Hero's Journey is a life cycle from Fool to Magician. It is Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz; it is Luke Skywalker, going from farmboy to Jedi Knight. The Magician is wise, complete, superb. . Everyone starts out a Fool, but not everyone manages to become a Magician. Once you do become a magician, you start the journey all over again, this time at a higher level.



CARD 2, Vine Avenue, crosses Hollywood Boulevard. This card either complicates or compliments the question, kind of like a movie backer who insists on coming down to the studio to see what's going on.

3 of Swords: Sorrow--Billie Holiday


Lady sings the blues.
The Three of Swords represents the sorrow that is part of life, whether it's a mild case of the blues or a great abyss of mourning. Remember: even the depths of sorrow can be the source of great beauty.



CARD 3 is the Script you're supposed to be learning in this question. Is it hard to learn? Is it stupid? Is it worthy of you? This card is the challenge you face in this situation.

Prince of Swords: Dolph Lundgren


The Universal Soldier.
The Prince of Swords is the god of war. He is not the strategist, the general, the officer in charge--he's the guy out on the battlefield, hacking away; he's the useful but expendable knight in someone else's chess game.



CARD 4 is the Producer, working behind the scenes. This is the card of the larger picture, the vision of what the movie of your question would tell the audience, assuming there was enough money to make the film and you were a good enough actor to do the part. Some would describe this card as God's purpose in this situation.

Card #9: The Hermit--Greta Garbo


Queen Christina reflects on being alone.
The Hermit knows that every individual needs solitude from time to time in order to reflect on the various mysteries of life. The Hermit realizes that the noise of other lives can distract from hearing one's own song.



CARD 5 is Podunk, Minnesota--or wherever you came from before you made it to the corner of Hollywood and Vine. This is all the strengths and skills you are bringing to the part, all those hours of high school musicals and dinner theater that have made you the performer you are today. This is the card of your past.

King of Pentacles: Ving Rhames


Doing business over lunch by the pool.
The King of Pentacles is a sensualist, an utterly physical man. He is a good business man who does not enjoy business for its own sake, but rather for the things of the flesh that money can buy him. He is authoritarian, stable and reliable. Just don't get between him and his stuff.



CARD 6 is the completed movie of your question, assuming there are no last minute script changes or drug overdoses among the cast. If you don't do anything different, this is what the final screening will look like. This is the card of the predictable future.

5 of Cups: Regret--Hugh Grant


He feels really bad about it.
The Five of Cups represents the fact that sometimes we do stupid things that we really, really regret later. The message of this card is: Think before you act.



CARD 7 is that secret script you wrote, that you have hidden in the bottom drawer of your dresser--it's the real question that you should have asked, the opportunity you should have pursued in this reading instead of doing yet another remake of Rocky Meets Lethal Weapon.

10 of Swords: Ruin--Robert Downey, Jr.


Robert Downey, Jr. in court. Again.
The Ten of Swords represents ruin brought on by an inability to take responsibility and control over one's own life.



CARD 8 is the role people want you to play or want you to relate to in this movie--these are the unseen forces, the archetypes that are acting in this situation that you may not be entirely aware of.

3 of Pentacles: Work--Oprah Winfrey


Combining your work gives you time for more work.
"If the work which any man has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward."-1 Corinthians 3:14



CARD 9 is the role you were born to play in the movie of this question, the archetype you should be modeling yourself on.

3 of Wands: Fate--Lana Turner


Born to be bad.
The Three of Wands is the card of Fate. Now, you may or may not believe in fate; certainly a strong argument can be made that each of us as an individual is the master of our own destiny. Think of your life as an orchestra. Do you know the conductor?



CARD 10 is the Academy Award ceremony: this is the best and brightest possible outcome for this project. It may be a sad card--but remember that even tear jerkers can have big value at the box office. Give us a big smile for the cameras!

9 of Cups: Happiness--Barney


Super-dee-whatever.
The Nine of Cups is about Happiness. Now, this is not a good Hollywood Tarot archetype, because Hollywood is a darned cynical place. If you get this card: GOOD FOR YOU!



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