For the full Hollywood Tarot experience, pretend the cards below are lying in front of you sort of like this,

and that some Princess of Pentacles person is there with you, interpreting the meanings (which she really is, at some archetypal level).

For a more complete explanation of the cards (like, what the heck does this actor have to do with this card anyway?), see Who's On What Card.

NOTE: Major Arcana cards (the first 22 cards of the deck) do not belong to suits like Swords or Wands; they are simply called "Card 0", "Card 1", etc. They're the cards with the blue moon-and-stars frames. Don't be confused if you get, say, "Card 3" on the layout space called "Card 1". This just means that the third card of the deck is in the first card position.

Enjoy the Movie!



Cards 1 and 2 are the starting point. Think of them as the corner of Hollywood and Vine. CARD 1, Hollywood Boulevard, is the summarized plot of your question, the cards' edited version of the question you are asking.

Card #0: The Fool--Robin Williams as Mork


"The childlike Mork is disappointed to find out that, on Earth, eggs don't fly."
Fools are utterly ignorant persons, who will take amazing risks simply because they don't know better. They don't know embarrassment, or fear. They laugh and sing and step off cliffs. The fool is the archetype at the very beginning of the Hero's Journey, a journey that ends when the Fool has become the Magician.



CARD 2, Vine Avenue, crosses Hollywood Boulevard. This card either complicates or compliments the question, kind of like a movie backer who insists on coming down to the studio to see what's going on.

5 of Cups: Regret--Hugh Grant


He feels really bad about it.
The Five of Cups represents the fact that sometimes we do stupid things that we really, really regret later. The message of this card is: Think before you act.



CARD 3 is the Script you're supposed to be learning in this question. Is it hard to learn? Is it stupid? Is it worthy of you? This card is the challenge you face in this situation.

9 of Pentacles: Accomplishment--David Bowie


Bowie is in the green.
This is the card of achieving your goals, particularly goals related to money, since the Hollywood Tarot way of measuring Accomplishment is: How much money did you make?



CARD 4 is the Producer, working behind the scenes. This is the card of the larger picture, the vision of what the movie of your question would tell the audience, assuming there was enough money to make the film and you were a good enough actor to do the part. Some would describe this card as God's purpose in this situation.

8 of Cups: Loss--Clara Bow


Clara mourns the loss of her career.
The Eight of Cups represents loss-- unexpected, out of our control, impossible to prepare for.



CARD 5 is Podunk, Minnesota--or wherever you came from before you made it to the corner of Hollywood and Vine. This is all the strengths and skills you are bringing to the part, all those hours of high school musicals and dinner theater that have made you the performer you are today. This is the card of your past.

5 of Wands: Impasse--Elaine Miles as Marilyn Whirlwind


You'll never get her to change her mind.
Sometimes you meet an immovable force. When you encounter such a person or situation, the most efficient use of your time is to figure some other way to reach your goal, because this path is closed to you.



CARD 6 is the completed movie of your question, assuming there are no last minute script changes or drug overdoses among the cast. If you don't do anything different, this is what the final screening will look like. This is the card of the predictable future.

Card #10: Wheel of Fortune--Kevin Bacon


Making connections.
There is a pattern to creation. Everything's connected. There are reasons for what happens. That's the good part. The bad part is, we seldom have enough clues to see the big picture.



CARD 7 is that secret script you wrote, that you have hidden in the bottom drawer of your dresser--it's the real question that you should have asked, the opportunity you should have pursued in this reading instead of doing yet another remake of Rocky Meets Lethal Weapon.

4 of Cups: Depression--Judy Garland


Judy ponders her life.
The Four of Cups reflects the fact that creativity, genius and madness are often only different profiles of the same gift. It can be as difficult to control one's own spirals into depression as it is to control one's own bursts of creative genius.



CARD 8 is the role people want you to play or want you to relate to in this movie--these are the unseen forces, the archetypes that are acting in this situation that you may not be entirely aware of.

Princess of Wands: Madonna


She wants it now.
The Princess of Wands is pure ravening sexuality. This is the card of someone who will do it with anyone at any time, and still want more. This is the card of vampires. She is in charge. Sex is her source of power.



CARD 9 is the role you were born to play in the movie of this question, the archetype you should be modeling yourself on.

Card #6: The Lovers--Roy Rogers and Dale Evans


The King and Queen of the Cowboys.
The Lovers of the Major Arcana are innocent and naive. Think Luke and Leia, not Han and Leia. This card means partnership, two halves joining to make a complete whole. Passion would only confuse things.



CARD 10 is the Academy Award ceremony: this is the best and brightest possible outcome for this project. It may be a sad card--but remember that even tear jerkers can have big value at the box office. Give us a big smile for the cameras!

Card #9: The Hermit--Greta Garbo


Queen Christina reflects on being alone.
The Hermit knows that every individual needs solitude from time to time in order to reflect on the various mysteries of life. The Hermit realizes that the noise of other lives can distract from hearing one's own song.



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